It's A Beautiful Place

16 September 2009

Must. Create. Post

My problem is that I don't have a problem because I am nothing out of the ordinary. Not too smart to get into things, not too un-smart to get into other things, not too fucked up to be ruined, not too close to anyone to really feel the another person, which is why I am never betrayed nor fought with. I don't believe people are scared to fight me, don't you believe that, but in raelity it's just because I've never done anything. (Yes, I believe that fighting and disagreement are essential, healthy even.) I've never had the courage to speak up about the things that mattered or the things that required my opinion, just the mindless reminders, the mind - numbing bullshit they make me say. Yes, I know, it's my own damn fault.

Do you ever feel like shit, the rotten kind? Like you can't do anything about it? Or like you feel more like shit because you're too lazy too get off your goddamned sorry ass and actually do something about it?

Yup. I'm that kind of person.

I'm the kind of sad dork who people just talk to because they want to ask or borrow something, or whatever the hell it is they want.

Haaaa. I sound like that hypocritic fool who uses English too much. I'm sorry. to you, dearest reader/s (if anyone even reads this piece of green garbage).

Labels: anger, boohoopickuptwo, braincrap, drama, i'm ba-ack, in boredom, rants, weaknesses

19 November 2008

DEAREST

dear ***

hindi ako punyeta.

end

Labels: drama

18 March 2008

ALL THAT ANGER

SUNDAY MORNING: EXCITED AND NOT BORED WITH LITTLE ANGER
(then again I'm always angry)

t was Pacquiao's fight - everybody was watching. My dad and cousin actually paid P600 ($15 US) each to watch it in a movie house. GOODNESS GRAVY. Anyway, we went to Greenbelt 3, 4 and 5. Walking around the pond - type thing, (Geri wanted to see the koi,) I actually ran into Kaori and Naomi! The twins! It almost seemed that we were close again. (ha-ha) After ogling the stores and buying (looking at) books, we decided to eat at Bubba Gump. I must say, the food was absolutely good. The servings were too big, though. Deciding to watch 10, 000 BC, we went to TriNoMa. The movie was OK. I gotta admit, Steven Strait and Camilla Belle were totally hot. (ha-ha)

SUNDAY NIGHT: OMG.

Do you see that volleyball that A designed on that picture about BADASS? The four of us don't really play together but she put it there becuase I love that [stinking] sport. That was what I was waiting for this summer. The try outs for the volleyball clinic were on Monday and I was utterly psyched to go with Monique since Arianne and Lek were already part of the STC team. I already even picked my shirt AND shorts out to wear the next day. Then [I now think] Karma was NOT on my side when my mom said: "Sam, pwede bang hindi ka na pumuntang STC bukas?" (Sam, do you HAVE to go to STC tomorrow?)

I WAS SILENTLY HEARTBROKEN.

I knew it. I KNEW mum and dad would do this: give me high hopes and then beat my hope to a stinking pulp. I knew it. OH MY GOD. OH MY LORD. I couldn't react without being a brat. I've waited for this for sooo long, you know. I just wanted to audition. I just wanted to play a freaking sport. I almost cried again. Good God. I couldn't do anything about it. NOTHING. Not even Roswell could make me feel better. I mean, you gotta understand me. I might seem positively shallow and over dramatic but that was the only thing I really wanted to do. More than shopping. More than watching TV. More than eating. So when the unexpected [not] hit me, I was deeply hurt and disappointed. [sigh]

AND SO MONDAY CAME

Since Monday, I've devoted my time to being surprisingly productive. And by productive I meant to sleeping all day long. My routine would be to wake up, watch TV for a few minutes then fall asleep. I would cook myself stuff sometimes, and then I would sleep again. FAB.

TODAY: INCREDIBLY HOT.
Climate change is a total bitch. Yesterday, it was raining and totally cool but today it is super [kaduper] HOT. As in I might take two baths in an afternoon. That is how hot today is. MY GAWD. [channeling doodlesz]

WORD.

UPDATE: great. I just found out that it was my last chance to try out last Monday. SHI-IT.

Labels: anger, drama, volleyball

06 March 2008

AMPALAYA-FILLED BANANAS

6 March 2008, Thursday is the day
7:07 pm
I know that I should really be studying right now but I wanted to start this as soon as I remembered to do it.

It's been almost two years that we've been together and I regret to say that our time has almost run out. We have three days left to be together. After that last day, the process of our separation would start and that would mean that we would 'get to meet new people.'

Now I just sound like a lover.

Moving on to my description. The last two years I've spent with these people were two of the best years I had ever experienced. I like to believe that I had found my true friends from that group.

Mind you, the people who I am friends with are all quite different from each other. There are those who I spent most of my days with, the people who I am most recognized with and who I am identified with. Our friendship though, is not based from what we have in common like the sports we play, the humor we have or the food we eat everyday but on the time we've spent learning from each other through the up-sies and the down-sies of our adolescent lives. There are also the people who I would have never expected to be friends with - I never really knew them before. They had great influences on who I am, my way of speech, my spontaneous statements, the stuff I watch, the things I do and so much more. There are also those who seem totally different from me and yet deep inside I am quite like them. I may not act like they do nor appear as they appear but we have the same kind of hearts. The same kind of mistakes and the same kind of learnings. And sometimes, though I may appear to be a tough cookie, I have this hidden attitude like theirs (which I have yet to reveal to the people around me.) There are those who I disliked from the beginning but accepted in the end - the people who were outcast by MY friends. Those who were misunderstood a lot and who were not really known. I actually know how they have felt. People might not believe me - for I look too happy at times - that even though I belong to a big, big clique, I often feel alone and like I was my only friend (...don't get me wrong, I love you.) There were people who supported me and have shown me happiness and appreciation in the little things in life. I wouldn't have really appreciated people who had the same principles if it weren't for them. There were - as I regret to tell - a few who I failed to get to know. If you feel like I'm ultimately describing you, I am truly and sincerely sorry. Lastly, there are the people whom I've felt at home with. They are the ones who have made me laugh every time we spoke and the people who I confided the deepest of my thoughts and secrets - the three people I would have been friends with if I hadn't been seated with one of my best friends now. They are the ones who I write with today and the whole reason I write with so much passion. There are times that I don't seem to appreciate them much as I appreciate my other friends, but somehow I am still accepted by the three. They have pushed me to work harder and to be better (and talk about, music, movies, t.v., and clothes) and to appreciate my family better.

All the people that I have met and have been with for the past two short years of my life have already shaped me into the person who I am now and who I will be in the future. They have molded me and touched my soul and giggled with me like Catholic school girls and cried with me when I made mistakes and taught me how to move on and to be myself and to be the best person I could be. My heart aches as I write this and face the reality of having new people to be with in the future. I shall never forget them and I hope form the bottom of my heart that they won't forget me or do remember me only when they needed lab gowns for school.

P.S.
to T./N.Y.V and AKI, if you are worrying, don't. I love you all with all my heart.

Labels: drama, friends, school


iHOLA! I am Sam. 16 and bored. I love GC. That's it, I guess. In in the process of editing crap. The Cbox! Friend 1 Friend 2 Friend 3 Friend 4 Friend 5 March 6, 2008 March 18, 2008 March 19, 2008 March 22, 2008 March 25, 2008 March 26, 2008 March 29, 2008 March 31, 2008 May 1, 2008 May 11, 2008 May 15, 2008 June 7, 2008 June 8, 2008 October 27, 2008 October 29, 2008 October 30, 2008 November 7, 2008 November 9, 2008 November 11, 2008 November 15, 2008 November 19, 2008 November 20, 2008 November 22, 2008 November 23, 2008 November 29, 2008 December 1, 2008 December 3, 2008 December 8, 2008 December 11, 2008 December 18, 2008 December 23, 2008 December 29, 2008 January 8, 2009 January 17, 2009 January 27, 2009 February 18, 2009 February 28, 2009 March 9, 2009 March 14, 2009 March 20, 2009 March 24, 2009 April 22, 2009 August 5, 2009 August 19, 2009 August 31, 2009 September 16, 2009 Bituwin - template Dementee - image Words from Before It's Too Late by Goo Goo Dolls. Blog Hit Counter	16 September 2009 Must. Create. Post My problem is that I don't have a problem because I am nothing out of the ordinary. Not too smart to get into things, not too un-smart to get into other things, not too fucked up to be ruined, not too close to anyone to really feel the another person, which is why I am never betrayed nor fought with. I don't believe people are scared to fight me, don't you believe that, but in raelity it's just because I've never done anything. (Yes, I believe that fighting and disagreement are essential, healthy even.) I've never had the courage to speak up about the things that mattered or the things that required my opinion, just the mindless reminders, the mind - numbing bullshit they make me say. Yes, I know, it's my own damn fault. Do you ever feel like shit, the rotten kind? Like you can't do anything about it? Or like you feel more like shit because you're too lazy too get off your goddamned sorry ass and actually do something about it? Yup. I'm that kind of person. I'm the kind of sad dork who people just talk to because they want to ask or borrow something, or whatever the hell it is they want. Haaaa. I sound like that hypocritic fool who uses English too much. I'm sorry. to you, dearest reader/s (if anyone even reads this piece of green garbage). Labels: anger, boohoopickuptwo, braincrap, drama, i'm ba-ack, in boredom, rants, weaknesses 7:56 PM · 19 November 2008 DEAREST dear *** hindi ako punyeta. end Labels: drama 4:39 PM · 18 March 2008 ALL THAT ANGER SUNDAY MORNING: EXCITED AND NOT BORED WITH LITTLE ANGER (then again I'm always angry) It was Pacquiao's fight - everybody was watching. My dad and cousin actually paid P600 ($15 US) each to watch it in a movie house. GOODNESS GRAVY. Anyway, we went to Greenbelt 3, 4 and 5. Walking around the pond - type thing, (Geri wanted to see the koi,) I actually ran into Kaori and Naomi! The twins! It almost seemed that we were close again. (ha-ha) After ogling the stores and buying (looking at) books, we decided to eat at Bubba Gump. I must say, the food was absolutely good. The servings were too big, though. Deciding to watch 10, 000 BC, we went to TriNoMa. The movie was OK. I gotta admit, Steven Strait and Camilla Belle were totally hot. (ha-ha) SUNDAY NIGHT: OMG. Do you see that volleyball that A designed on that picture about BADASS? The four of us don't really play together but she put it there becuase I love that [stinking] sport. That was what I was waiting for this summer. The try outs for the volleyball clinic were on Monday and I was utterly psyched to go with Monique since Arianne and Lek were already part of the STC team. I already even picked my shirt AND shorts out to wear the next day. Then [I now think] Karma was NOT on my side when my mom said: "Sam, pwede bang hindi ka na pumuntang STC bukas?" (Sam, do you HAVE to go to STC tomorrow?) I WAS SILENTLY HEARTBROKEN. I knew it. I KNEW mum and dad would do this: give me high hopes and then beat my hope to a stinking pulp. I knew it. OH MY GOD. OH MY LORD. I couldn't react without being a brat. I've waited for this for sooo long, you know. I just wanted to audition. I just wanted to play a freaking sport. I almost cried again. Good God. I couldn't do anything about it. NOTHING. Not even Roswell could make me feel better. I mean, you gotta understand me. I might seem positively shallow and over dramatic but that was the only thing I really wanted to do. More than shopping. More than watching TV. More than eating. So when the unexpected [not] hit me, I was deeply hurt and disappointed. [sigh] AND SO MONDAY CAME Since Monday, I've devoted my time to being surprisingly productive. And by productive I meant to sleeping all day long. My routine would be to wake up, watch TV for a few minutes then fall asleep. I would cook myself stuff sometimes, and then I would sleep again. FAB. TODAY: INCREDIBLY HOT. Climate change is a total bitch. Yesterday, it was raining and totally cool but today it is super [kaduper] HOT. As in I might take two baths in an afternoon. That is how hot today is. MY GAWD. [channeling doodlesz] WORD. UPDATE: great. I just found out that it was my last chance to try out last Monday. SHI-IT. Labels: anger, drama, volleyball 3:27 PM · 06 March 2008 AMPALAYA-FILLED BANANAS 6 March 2008, Thursday is the day 7:07 pm I know that I should really be studying right now but I wanted to start this as soon as I remembered to do it. It's been almost two years that we've been together and I regret to say that our time has almost run out. We have three days left to be together. After that last day, the process of our separation would start and that would mean that we would 'get to meet new people.' Now I just sound like a lover. Moving on to my description. The last two years I've spent with these people were two of the best years I had ever experienced. I like to believe that I had found my true friends from that group. Mind you, the people who I am friends with are all quite different from each other. There are those who I spent most of my days with, the people who I am most recognized with and who I am identified with. Our friendship though, is not based from what we have in common like the sports we play, the humor we have or the food we eat everyday but on the time we've spent learning from each other through the up-sies and the down-sies of our adolescent lives. There are also the people who I would have never expected to be friends with - I never really knew them before. They had great influences on who I am, my way of speech, my spontaneous statements, the stuff I watch, the things I do and so much more. There are also those who seem totally different from me and yet deep inside I am quite like them. I may not act like they do nor appear as they appear but we have the same kind of hearts. The same kind of mistakes and the same kind of learnings. And sometimes, though I may appear to be a tough cookie, I have this hidden attitude like theirs (which I have yet to reveal to the people around me.) There are those who I disliked from the beginning but accepted in the end - the people who were outcast by MY friends. Those who were misunderstood a lot and who were not really known. I actually know how they have felt. People might not believe me - for I look too happy at times - that even though I belong to a big, big clique, I often feel alone and like I was my only friend (...don't get me wrong, I love you.) There were people who supported me and have shown me happiness and appreciation in the little things in life. I wouldn't have really appreciated people who had the same principles if it weren't for them. There were - as I regret to tell - a few who I failed to get to know. If you feel like I'm ultimately describing you, I am truly and sincerely sorry. Lastly, there are the people whom I've felt at home with. They are the ones who have made me laugh every time we spoke and the people who I confided the deepest of my thoughts and secrets - the three people I would have been friends with if I hadn't been seated with one of my best friends now. They are the ones who I write with today and the whole reason I write with so much passion. There are times that I don't seem to appreciate them much as I appreciate my other friends, but somehow I am still accepted by the three. They have pushed me to work harder and to be better (and talk about, music, movies, t.v., and clothes) and to appreciate my family better. All the people that I have met and have been with for the past two short years of my life have already shaped me into the person who I am now and who I will be in the future. They have molded me and touched my soul and giggled with me like Catholic school girls and cried with me when I made mistakes and taught me how to move on and to be myself and to be the best person I could be. My heart aches as I write this and face the reality of having new people to be with in the future. I shall never forget them and I hope form the bottom of my heart that they won't forget me or do remember me only when they needed lab gowns for school. P.S. to T./N.Y.V and AKI, if you are worrying, don't. I love you all with all my heart. Labels: drama, friends, school 7:07 PM ·